Issue 13.
Special Festive Edition: the Shallow Season guide to gifts for gaslighters, yourself (obviously), the official Shallow Spotify playlist & more
It’s officially Shallow Season! The time of year when the entire month of December becomes one big celebration of anything frivolous, festive, and fun: long lunches, end-of-year parties, weeknights dedicated purely to enjoyment, sunny evenings, your best outfits, OOH emails, and, of course, gifts.
This year, I finally get to do what I do best with no shame: find anything to spend money on that is completely unnecessary but god, is it nice to have.
Here is the official Shallow guide to a selection of Christmas gifts people actually want and won’t be embarrassed to give.
I hope you enjoy!
Harriet xx
I like to think of the Gaslight Gift as the quiet achiever of the gifting realm. On paper it’s a faux pas, a heartless, calculated strategy to give a present that conveniently benefits you just as much as your giftee. Which is exactly why it’s such a common gifting move.
How many times have you heard, “Oh, we’re going away for the weekend for Tom’s birthday,” or “Mum and I are getting a facial together for Mother’s Day”? Exactly.
The Gaslight Gift is genius and I’m here to strip it of all its stigma. A gift enjoyed by two instead of one? A very merry Christmas indeed!
Christmas, birthdays, and other celebrations aren’t really special occasions. They’re self-help opportunities disguised as gifts for significant others.
For those of us living with a man in particular, there aren’t enough celebrations in the year to gift all these much-needed “updates.” Clothes, socks, underwear, personal grooming, it’s exhausting playing the entire cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy every festive season.
But if it means not staring at old sneakers or speed-dealer sunglasses that started as “just a gag on a bucks weekend” and ended up being worn in real life, around real people, this is the guide for you.
Sorry Jesus, but the annual girls’ Christmas lunch is the holiest date on the December calendar. A day dedicated to flowing cocktails, delicious food, endless laughs, drunk D&Ms, capped off by a 1am finish on a friend’s MCM House couch, a glass of God knows what in hand, blurring your words about how much you love one another.
I’m getting misty-eyed just thinking about it.
Before you organise your spray tan and outfit, if your group usually does group gifts with lunch, mix it up and forgo the go-to Mecca purchase this year.
Brownie-points gifts are the tax return of present purchases. An obligatory, non-negotiable, you have to do, you have no idea what you’re doing, but you’re better off in the long run for doing it.
These giftees tend to play a more supporting role in our lives, so it can be hard to know their exact taste, but they’re essential to get right. The difference between gliding into 2026 or starting the year in damage control, or worse, a WhatsApp essay from your in-laws asking why you have such an issue with them.
Even those of us whose love language is living and dying by the sword of materialism recognise the value of a present that means more than just a price tag.
These are the gifts we give when someone we love has had a crummy year or experienced a life-changing moment. A little more thoughtful, intimate, and considered, these gestures truly capture the spirit of giving, and if you happen to look like the world’s best person in the process, all the better.
There is no gift more certain to hit the mark or bring a smile to a Botoxed face than the self-gift. A once-a-year opportunity to treat oneself to a much-deserved purchase that can be written off as a “reward for getting through the year.”
The more absurd, unnecessary, and overpriced, the better.
It wouldn’t be the festive season without a banger of a soundtrack.
Shallow Season Sounds is filled with some of my favourite tunes that hit every mood of the year’s end: very merry on your fourth margarita at a long lunch, crawling behind three caravans on a Boxing Day road trip, deep in reflection on the 31st, belting out Mariah solo while driving out of Westfield on the 24th, or forcing Mum onto the dance floor on Christmas Day. This is your soundtrack to the season.
Such fab gift ideas, but even better writing, loved it all 🩵🩷