Issue 28.
Copy, Paste, Profit: The Unrivalled Formula of the Australian Property Developer
The opinion section no one asked for.
Copy, Paste, Profit: The Unrivalled Formula of the Australian Property Developer
In 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote that nothing in life is certain except death and taxes. He clearly never visited Australia.
In this sunburnt country, there’s a third: the Aussie property developer’s commitment to predictability.
I underestimated just how much this commitment to sameness surrounds me.
On my morning walks, it’s multiple billboards promoting new apartment blocks or townhouses that promise I’ll “enter a new era of unrivalled living”: practically screaming at me like King Kong as I pass. Or a sleek showroom inviting me in for an “exclusive viewing” of God knows what.
A display model? Wallpaper swatches? A flip-through a pamphlet of AI interiors?
This week, a single scroll through Instagram served me FIFTEEN targeted ads for new builds of every shape and size. The faster I scrolled, the more they came.
Identical fonts! Identical imagery! Identical descriptions!
My algorithm seems convinced I’m an empty-nester boomer with $5–7 million to spare mortgage-free on a three-bedroom residence with a communal sauna and double parking, “reimagined for my next chapter.”
With developers clearly not letting me out of their sight, I thought it was time to turn the tables and give them their dues.
With home ownership as ingrained in the Australian psyche as a love of rubber thongs and hot chips, their strategy is obviously working on someone: so let’s learn a thing or two.
Lesson 1. The Power of a Name
Time is money and if we can learn anything from our developer friends, it’s that they don’t waste an ounce of it creating a name with meaning, history or character.
Why would you when there are back-to-back calls to make and deals to close?!
In fact, there's no need to venture beyond your street or suburb for inspiration, as a quick scan of a handful of new builds confirms.
And if you do decide to think outside the box, it better involve numbers or an exotic overseas destination with absolutely zero relevance to the building.
A special shout to Tim Gurner’s Gurner Group, who are seemingly so enamoured with European sensibilities that an upcoming development is called Saint Moritz…despite being located in St Kilda.
The last time I walked along the city beach it didn’t exactly evoke feelings of an exclusive Swiss ski village….
On the flip side, if the slopes aren’t your thing you can pivot to the French Riviera instead, with the building “inspired by the sparkling Cannes waterfront” and featuring “lavish Italian marble.”
It’s a real choose-your-own-adventure at Saint Moritz Kilda Cannes!
Lesson 2. One-Size-Fits-All, Always
“Has anyone got any new ideas for design?” — every head property developer known to man.
Silence.
“Perfect. Let’s proceed with the same old thing again.”
If Art Deco architecture defined the ’20s and ’30s, then a Sims-inspired aesthetic is the look du jour of the 2020s: stacked, soft-modernist builds defined by floor-to-ceiling glazing, stepped terracing, podiums, curved balconies and integrated planter boxes filled with greenery.
Inside: marble, marble and more marble. Roaring electric fireplaces, open-plan living, soft neutral palettes and integrated joinery.
Judging by the AI-generated furniture in the marketing images, it could be tough to be anyone who isn’t an inherent minimalist or worse, someone with a personal style of your own. God forbid.
Don’t say that aloud to the developers at the open house or they’ll march you straight to the nearest Coco Republic showroom to stock up on a leather couch, glass coffee table and a boucle ottoman at the first whiff of individuality.
Lesson 3. Marketing: Unparalleled, Exclusive & Meticulously Crafted
My favourite part of the developer playbook is without a doubt, the marketing.
It starts with the imagery: hero shots of the penthouse or best residence in the building, carefully framed to suggest that every apartment comes with a breathtaking view, plunge pool or rooftop garden — only to discover there are 54 other apartments in the block, half of which look directly into a brick wall or out over the bins.
Then we get to the descriptions. As a writer, tone of voice is everything and the developer voice is remarkably consistent across states, cities and companies.
Warm, gushing, sincere, with just a hint of beguilement. A drinking game could be built around it: take a sip every time you see sanctuary, tranquillity, meticulous, luxury, exceptional.
Developers also seem to be part-time life coaches, eager to reassure you that your life will be utterly transformed and infinitely better the moment you set foot in the building.
Some personal favourites:
“Expertly orchestrated to complement the fullness of how you live.”
“ The best things in life are yours for the taking”
“A world of its own—a place where the ocean meets the river and dreams are created and lived every day.”
The Instagram ads all follow the same formula: a big, glossy hero image to draw you in, followed by a short, breathless blurb.
And then there are the fonts.
The property world seems to have taken cues directly from magazine editorials —rotating through high-contrast serifs and restrained sans fonts to signal a very specific kind of luxury.
In 2026, taxes may ebb and flow, but nothing will come between a developer and their dedication to building homes that look, feel and sound exactly the same.
It might be one of the last comforting constants of our times.
An edit of beautiful, unnecessary, probably overpriced things you don’t need… but will want
My personality has returned: fully restored, operating at peak form, shoulder season is here and I couldn’t be more excited. There is no time I thrive more!
Summer humidity and I are fundamentally incompatible. Winter destroys my skin, my hair and my general appearance to the point that by late August I’m avoiding mirrors and researching the cost of a deep-plane facelift.
Part of me will always resent that the Northern Hemisphere gets a longer run of cool-weather fashion. It is unbeatable.
Coats, suede, leather, bootleg jeans, boots, turtlenecks, cashmere: I’m salivating as I type.
So, in honour of the start of Shoulder season, here’s what I’m loving and lusting after.
Rationale The Brilliance Tinted Serum SPF50+
Why do I do this to myself? I was perfectly happy with my go-to French pharmacy sunscreen. Then I got a sample of this and it was add to cart before I could blink.
Friends with Frank The Claudia Cargo Pants
I had my eye on these last year but had commitment issues and never made it official. This year, I’m all in.
Assembly Label Sonny Suede Shoulder Bag
Assembly Label are the great underdogs of Australian fashion – solid, well-made basics and staples that won’t require you to start an OnlyFans to afford, and this bag is the perfect example.
Get you a girl that can do both! I’m in a drape phase and I’m not coming out of it anytime soon. I bought a similar version of this— a top with a detachable scarf — from STAUD which has since sold out, but this one has the same vibe. You’re welcome.
How have I been sleeping on Muji?! Yes, I know they’ve been around for decades and most of you have probably heard of them, shopped there, or at least poked your head in. Embarrassingly, I hadn’t gone beyond the front door until last week. I may never shop anywhere else again. They have everything: clothing, luggage, homewares, storage solutions, skincare.
What are your thoughts on this week’s (skin) deep dives? Leave me a comment below!
Someone had to say it about the developers! 🔥
Agree with avo toast. Loving the skin deep dive 💫