Issue 3.
NikeSKIMS is here, the many brands of Snoop Dogg, META'S Zuck up, Hailey Bieber's Rhode Record, Shallow's first Toxic Traits & More
Tonal colours for SKIMS? Groundbreaking
NikeSKIMS has officially been unveiled and will be available to shop September 26th. If you’re a fan of black, grey, brown, and more black, congratulations—you’re about to be spoiled. The debut line from the shapewear brand and the sportswear giant spans seven collections and comes in a mix of material finishes: matte, shine, vintage seamless, and AIRY.
As someone who loves tonal dressing and clean lines (I’d rather walk down a busy street naked, wrapped in toilet paper than wear anything bright or patterned), I should be the target audience. And yet, I can’t help but feel… underwhelmed.
Haven’t we seen this look a thousand times already? Not just from NikeSKIMS, but across the entire activewear space. For years now it’s been muted colour palettes, underwear-as-outerwear, leggings tighter than cling wrap, and an endless parade of Princess Diana bike shorts at every sidewalk café.
And yet, being the pathetic slave to capitalism that I am, I’ll almost certainly buy a couple of pieces from the brand to “test out.” Watch this space.
Snooponomics
AFL interests me as much as Chinese algebra. But throw Snoop Dogg into the mix as the Grand Final headliner and you can bet I’ll be tuning in. With the morals of a real estate agent in a bathroom cubicle, there’s not much the Dogg won’t do for a dollar—his fee for Saturday is said to be around $5 million—and I’m 100% here for it.
Forget a signature scent: Snoop is a human Costco, with a product for literally everyone. Date night? Pour a glass of Snoop Cali Red or his cannabis-infused tonic, paired with a plate of Beyond Tailgate Dogg, his plant-based meat.
Need children’s entertainment? Try Doggyland, his 3D animated show featuring hip-hop nursery rhymes for kids. Want to take the edge off? Let me introduce you to the Dogg’s grape vape.
And this is only a snapshot of his brand ventures.
Snoop Dogg’s friendship with Martha Stewart is a marketing masterclass on its own, and I’m holding out hope he eventually offers personal branding lessons (for a fee, of course). I want in.
Down on his Zuck
Who has a good internet provider? Asking for a mate, namely Mark Zuckerberg. The poor thing seems to be stuck on a Dodo dial-up plan from 2000.
The tech bro-CEO was unveiling a product that truly nobody, and I mean nobody, needs: Meta Ray-Ban Display glasses. The world’s first AI-powered glasses that make you look like a robotic Blues Brother, featuring a built-in screen for messages, photos, maps, and more, assisted by an accompanying wristband.
During the live demo, when Zuckerberg tried to show how the glasses work, they didn’t follow his commands or the prompted steps. Then he tried to FaceTime Meta’s CTO using the glasses but gave up after multiple failed attempts, blaming bad wi-fi.
I haven’t wanted to see Zuck anywhere near accessories since he seemingly ate, slept, and showered in those awful black-and-white Adidas pool slides from 2003–2007, and this is just further proof that he should stick to algorithms.
Rhode to Glory
Hailey Bieber’s Rhode has officially become Sephora’s biggest brand launch in history, selling over $15 million worth of product in the first two days the brand hit shelves in the US and Canada. In layman’s terms, that’s three products sold every second. Breaking records once held by Rihanna’s Fenty and Selena Gomez’s Rare Beauty, it’s an impressive feat for a brand founded by a woman who a decade ago felt like the Sporty Spice of Gigi, Kendall, and Kylie’s crew.
I asked the Shallow community on Instagram if anyone had Rhode-tested the products (the brand doesn’t currently ship to AU). Besides my sister asking if you can see who answers those question boxes, the responses were helpful, and the consensus was mostly positive: effective products, good for the price point, and the tight product range gave it the easy feel of a “capsule collection” for your skin.
Downsides? The cleanser isn’t worth it, the marketing elevates the brand as a whole, and it’s not a brand for anyone chasing high-performance skincare.
Nagi Power
Is there anything Nagi Maehashi can’t do? Australia’s favourite chef and the only person who can get me to follow a recipe has been crowned the country’s most culturally powerful person by AFR Magazine.
It’s refreshing to see food get its due in the cultural conversation and to recognise Nagi as a powerhouse (RecipeTin Eats website gets 30 million views a month) and the best advocate for a second act career-wise. Nicole Kidman (4), Mecca founder Jo Horgan (7) and Dom Dolla (8) round out the top 10.
Ten questions that look at the worst parts of the best people
Felix Nankivell is a Sydney-based illustrator who has worked with Vogue, Giorgio Armani, ELLE, Ganni, The Australian Ballet, and more. He also happens to be the man behind the amazing Shallow brand illustrations!
Here, he reveals his most toxic traits. Stalk him @felixnankivell
1. What’s your most toxic trait?
I’m a huge gossip - it’s gotten me into a lot of hot water in the past.
2. I’m secretly judgmental about…
People who still wear Veja sneakers, people with a 10-step skincare routine, and people with stained yellow teeth.
3. The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever spent money on is…
I once paid $400 for a half-hour session with a healer to clear my energy over the phone. I felt worse afterwards than I did before.
4. On what occasion do you lie?
When I bump into someone on the street and say, “It was good to see you.”
5. I spend too much screen time on…
TikTok. Namely Bethenny Frankel’s account and conspiracy theories.
6. A luxury I consider a necessity…
A freshly dry-cleaned outfit every time I go out.
7. I’m most vain about…
My encyclopaedic knowledge of the Bravo universe.
8. If money were no object…
I’d buy all of Darling Point, turn it into a sprawling home-slash-resort, and then charge the original residents rent to live there.
9. People reveal themselves when…
They go home for Christmas and it looks depressing on Instagram.
Or when they upload a video of a napkin wave at a wedding.
10. Words to live by?
Good fences make good neighbours.