Issue 5.
Victoria Beckham documentary wishlist, Peter V’landys' fashions on the field, Chanel conspiracy, Taylor Swift's productivity problems & more
Cringe content incoming! A little note from me. Harriet x
Fashions on the Field
Shout out to Peter V’landys, whose outfit at Sunday night’s NRL Grand Final made my eyes pop out of my head so fast I almost lost them on the ground. I briefly wondered if he had arrived at the match via clown car.
The ARL Chairman’s appearance at the end of the big dance between the Brisbane Broncos and Melbourne Storm was impossible to miss.
It takes a rare kind of confidence, and an even rarer indifference to aesthetics to make typical NRL fashions — rattails, ski masks, and speed dealers — look like French couture.
The trousers alone were a crime: ill-fitting, in Trumpian blue, with excess fabric pooling around his ankles like a pair of curtains.
Then there were the red rubber shoes with soles so thick it looked like they came with their own basement parking. And if that wasn’t enough, V’landys doubled down with a matching blue shirt and a silver tie, because why stop when you’re ahead!
Is The Outnet Over?
Check in with your millennial female friends this week and keep us in your thoughts. The Outnet is allegedly shutting up shop, for good.
The online luxury outlet which sells discounted past-season designer clothes, bags, shoes and more from Net-a-Porter has become collateral damage in a corporate restructure.
I’ve been down more Reddit rabbit holes than I care to admit, trawled fashion trade sites, and even scrolled LinkedIn with a sick bucket nearby searching for official confirmation. So far, this report is the closest thing I’ve found.
Praying it’s not true, because I don’t know what I’ll do without The Outnet’s consistently good edit of clothes and accessories at reasonable prices. Consider this your warning: stock up while you still can.
Sheinel
Can you hear that click? It’s the sound of a thousand screenshots being snapped and sent to the design teams at Shein and Fashion Nova from the Chanel S/S 26 runway in Paris.
Relax, this isn’t a fashion week recap. I’m not in the mood to be overtly obnoxious and nauseating.
But I’d bet good money that the style of the new-season, oversized cotton shirt worn by Nicole Kidman in her first post-split appearance — made in collaboration with historic French tailor Charvet and finished with delicate Chanel logo embroidery — will soon be hanging off fast fashion racks from Sydney to Jaipur.
I can already feel the cheap polyester between my fingers as I imagine the slogans Shein will embroider onto theirs: Hot Girl Summer, But First, Coffee, or No Broke Boys.
The Overproductive Life of a Showgirl
If you’re looking for the Shallow take on Taylor Swift’s new album there won’t be any. I’m sorry. I tried to care and I just don’t.
The songs are enjoyable enough and it’s hilarious that people analyse every word she says like it’s a message from Shakespeare’s grave.
If I was Taylor I would go away for two years, kick back and live on an exotic island with people feeding grapes into my mouth. I respect her business acumen, drive and talent, even if her productivity makes me anxious. But she’s risking diluting her own legacy with her endless omnipresence. Do less.
The opinion section no one asked for.
Victoria’s Secrets
In 2011, during a job interview, a fifty-something man whose name was as forgettable as the role I was applying for asked me who I looked up to career-wise.
“Victoria Beckham,” I answered without hesitation.
He smirked, nodded condescendingly, and looked at me like I’d just come out of a Mattel box. I didn’t get the job, but I remember thinking, one day, my smirk-faced, Tarocash tie-wearing friend, “you’ll see.”
Now, on the eve of what might be one of the most defining documentaries of our time, Victoria Beckham, I can’t help but think about my old foe. I hope he has a Netflix subscription. And a better tie.
Fourteen years later, my answer hasn’t changed. If anything, my obsession with Victoria Caroline Beckham has only grown. I know what you’re thinking: “We get it. She’s famous, stylish, rich, married to one of the best-looking men alive, a Spice Girl.”
But my Shallow friends, whilst I love those things dearly about VB, the key that unlocks it all is her ability to reinvent, transform and make something out of nothing.
David Beckham would be a sports commentator on ITV4 or hosting an 11am breakfast show if it weren’t for his wife.
Tell me I’m wrong.
This woman is a branding genius, a marketing mastermind and a humble hustler. To top it off, she’s hilarious, with a self-deprecating wit I hope this documentary does justice.
Before Victoria came along, David was just another name in the late ’90s Manchester United line-up. Good-looking and talented, sure, but meeting Victoria took his life into another stratosphere. It was VB who could see their selling power as a couple.
This was before celebrity personal brands were as common as Botox and fillers, and “Posh and Becks” were the first celebrity couple to really reap the benefits.
Matching outfits made for the tabloid-paparazzi era, they launched a fashion brand, his-and-hers perfumes, million-dollar magazine deals, and TV specials. I should have YouTube shares for the number of times I watched their World Cup Party in 2006.
Twenty-six years on from their wedding, Victoria has long traded spray tans, booty shorts, and bandage dresses for the hard-won respect of the cutthroat fashion world.
Since 2008 she’s strategically and carefully built her namesake luxury brands, focusing on quality, timeless designs, and an unwavering dedication to being their greatest ambassador.
Victoria Beckham finally turned a profit in 2022, and Victoria Beckham Beauty has been a huge success since its launch in 2019.
As for David, he finally got his long-awaited knighthood this year and is co-owner and founder of the Inter Miami CF football club. Together, Brand Beckham has earned the couple a net worth of £500 million (over a billion AUD), according to The Times.
However, this highlight reel doesn’t tell the full story (do they ever?), and I hope this documentary will fill in some of the gaps about the rumours and myths that swirl around Victoria and the Beckham family.
Ahead of the big dance tomorrow night, here’s my watching wishlist.
Where is Brooklyn?
An obvious one, but I need immediate answers about the alleged estrangement between eldest son Brooklyn and his family.
I don’t want some PR fluff: “Brooklyn has been busy working on his hot sauce and photography skills; there is no problem.”
Why has he unfollowed his three siblings on Instagram but not his parents? Why hasn’t he been photographed with the family since Christmas 2024? Why did he miss David’s 50th birthday celebrations? Why wasn’t he in the front row of Victoria’s Paris fashion show this week? And why wasn’t any of his family present at his cringeworthy wedding vow renewals?
A comment from journalist Vassi Chamberlain who conducted a recent interview with Victoria may hold a clue.
“I am told that questions about the recent tabloid speculation regarding a fall-out with their eldest son, Brooklyn, will not be answered.”
Acknowledgement of the Loos Affair
More on David’s rumoured infidelity later, but the only one that comes close to being acknowledged by the couple is the footballer’s alleged 2003 affair with former personal assistant, Rebecca Loos.
As much as I loved 2023’s Beckham, it didn’t always feel like a true documentary in the traditional sense. The Beckhams appeared to deliberately withhold information, steering clear of anything that wasn’t positive. The affair has never been officially confirmed and closest we got to an admission was this :
“It was probably, if I’m being honest, the most unhappy I have ever been in my entire life,” Victoria said in Beckham.
“I don’t know how we got through it, in all honesty. Victoria is everything to me, to see her hurt was incredibly difficult. But we’re fighters, and at that time we needed to fight for each other,” David added
Loos, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to suffer from the same lockjaw problems.
“I have stuck to the truth. I’ve never exaggerated. I never lied about a single thing,” she told 60 Minutes in March 2025.
“Why? Because I’m going up against the strongest, most powerful couple in the media, who have all the money in the world for the best PR, the best lawyers. And all I had on my side was the truth.”
The Elephant in the Room
There are some dark corners of the internet that espouse truly mind-blowing theories about the Beckhams’ marriage. From accusations that the marriage exists for appearances only, to rumours about media arrangements that allegedly prevent certain stories from being reported, there is enough smoke to create a fire of biblical proportions.
Either some people have very creative imaginations—or, as always, there may be tiny slithers of truth to speculation.
Some of the salacious claims making it into print come from Tom Bower’s 2024 book, House of Beckham. Critically panned, most of the stories are old and have never been acknowledged by the Beckhams.
But my big ears are still burning over some of Bower’s allegations: claims that the couple barely spoke and lived separate lives around 2016, that Victoria drove around in a golf buggy to track down David partying with swimwear models at Glastonbury, and David’s alleged fantasies of picking up a call girl Pretty Woman-style.
Wedding Dress Gate
Brooklyn’s 2022 wedding to Nicola Peltz sounds as much fun as a lunch with Kevin Rudd. From the lawsuit involving the wedding planners to the leaked screenshots of Nicola and Brooklyn’s embarrassing texts with said planners, the whole affair made Fyre Festival look successful.
It was also where Victoria and Nicola’s longstanding disdain for each other supposedly kicked off, over the fact that Nicola didn’t wear a VB design down the aisle, opting instead for a gown from Valentino Haute Couture.
Even though Nicola stated that the only reason she didn’t go with a gown from her mother-in-law was that the brand’s “atelier couldn’t do it,” her comments felt about as genuine as a birthday card written by ChatGPT. And the Chinese whispers continued.
Victoria has never commented.
Victoria Beckham premieres on Netflix October 9. Let’s be honest, David’s doc was just the warm-up.
Epic read!
Great read. Go Haz