Issue 10.
A skincare brand for toddlers (yes, seriously), are you a macro or micro bride, a home organiser reveals her most toxic traits, and get ready to make room for a saddle on top of your Christmas tree
Pretty Little Pores
Busy week ahead for the hard-working heroes at DCJ (Department of Communities and Justice, formerly DoCS). They’ll surely have their hands full tracking down the negligent parents across Australia who’ve been depriving their toddlers of a skincare routine.
The Samaritan bravely bringing the issue of bare-faced babies to the forefront is Pretty Little Liars actress Shay Mitchell, who has launched a kids-focused skincare brand, Rini.
Aimed at a demographic crying out for attention from the cosmetics industry — toddlers aged three and up — Rini offers little ones their first taste of skincare with a range of hydrogel and sheet face masks.
“This has been three years in the making, inspired by my girls, their curiosity, and all the little moments that made me realize how early it starts. From birthday parties and face paint to wanting to do ‘what mommy does’ with her face masks… it was only a matter of time.” Mitchell wrote on Instagram.
I’m not a parent, so maybe I’m missing something, but I was under the impression that parents were the ones deciding “how early” things start. I’m terrified to think what could happen if Mitchell’s kids become curious about mummy’s evening vodka soda.
It never ceases to amaze me how celebrities manage to put a faux-heartfelt spin on whatever product they’re shilling—as though a syrupy caption will distract us from the obvious: it’s just another money-making endeavour.
Normally, my capitalist-loving self is here for it. But this one feels icky.
Can’t we just let kids be kids?! They’ll have decades ahead to worry about a 10-step skincare routine. The only thing that ever touched my millennial face as a child was a banana-flavoured Lip Smacker.
Mitchell told WWD she realised there was a gap in the market when she tried to remove her child’s face paint and didn’t know what to use.
“Can we use a makeup wipe to get this off? Hand soap? Face wash? Their skin barriers are a lot more sensitive and thinner,” she said.
Apparently, the only solution to this problem was to create a face mask. If only Shay’s house had running water, things could’ve turned out so differently.
Bridal Wars
Talk to any doomsdayer worth their salt — usually male, over 60, and familiar with the daytime hours of the local pub — and they’ll tell you we’ve got five, maybe “ten years at best, mate,” before AI wipes out the human workforce.
Who knows what the tea leaves hold, but I’ll bet my bottom dollar that if any industry is clinging to the last life raft after the rest of us have long drowned, it’s the wedding industry.
With upselling skills to rival a Harvey Norman employee on Black Friday, and the stamina of an army lieutenant, wedding planners and their associated vendors are a force to be reckoned with.
They’ve weathered pandemics, Pinterest trends, and more three-hour-long father-of-the-bride speeches than you can shake a leg at.
But change is on the horizon.
Weddings are at an inflection point, and two different camps are emerging on either side of the aisle: the micro bride and the macro bride.
The micro bride shrugs at the circus, wanting something small, intimate, and low-fuss.
With the current economic outlook making it expensive to take a breath in the morning, it’s easy to see why the market for small weddings is projected to grow from US$1.5 billion in 2025 to US$3.5 billion by 2033, according to HTF Market Intelligence.
On the other hand, a macro bride embraces every last part of the occasion, from seating arrangements to having her bouquet surgically removed after the DJ cuts the music.
And why not? It’s (hopefully) the one and only time you’ll do this.
No matter your bridal camp of choice, it goes without saying weddings make about as much financial sense as taking a swim with your superannuation strapped to your back in cash.
But for a certain subset, a content creator filming Scorsese-length reels is just the beginning.
“For the wealthiest people on Earth, it’s no longer enough to have a luxury wedding. Today, the new normal is a ‘super-wedding,’ akin to a music festival in size and with costs running into the millions,” reports WSJ.
Wedding planners for the 1% now command teams of up to 500 — drone operators, drapery artists, mixologists, lighting designers, and some poor soul tasked with creating a $500,000 hologram of a deceased grandfather.
If that sounds extravagant, the Ambani affair of 2024 makes the wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez look like a vow renewal in a local park.
Rihanna performed “Rude Boy” for a crowd that included Bill Gates, Adele, Kim Kardashian, and Boris Johnson.
A four-day Mediterranean cruise followed for 1,200 guests featuring a music line-up ripped straight from an iPod Nano — Katy Perry, the Backstreet Boys, and Pitbull. The main wedding spanned multiple days and included a nine-page dress code booklet, 75 breakfast options, 21 chefs, and a total cost reportedly hitting $1 billion USD.
Breakfast with a side of Pitbull? I’ll keep the billion and take a branded wedding day bucket hat any day.
Deck the halls with saddles and cowboy hats
Fire up the Temu cart. It’s time to go shopping! I’ve been completely, unapologetically suckered into the Ralph Lauren Christmas–inspired TikTok trend, and I’m here for it in all its preppy, tartan glory.
No one builds brand worlds like Lauren. Every time I’ve visited one of his stores or restaurants, I reach a high in myself I’ve never managed to feel anywhere else.
The oversized lamps! The ginger jars! The mahogany! The coffee table book piles!
And if having a little slice of his cosy, All-American aesthetic in my home for Christmas means throwing a saddle over the couch, screening a burning fireplace on the TV 24/7, spraying the entire place in Polo Sport, and snuggling up in a cable-knit jumper in 35-degree heat until the night of December 25th, nothing is going to stop me.
I want to hear from you!
Emma O’Sullivan is the director of Sydney-based home organisation experts Mum’s PA.
Whether it’s bringing order to that spare room you’ve been avoiding, styling your home for sale, or packing it up entirely (a task most of us would rather gouge our eyes out than do), Emma and her team deliver bespoke, stress-free, and highly personalised solutions every time. Stalk her @mums.pa.
What’s your most toxic trait?
After a night out, I like to order Macca’s delivery but fall asleep before it arrives. I can confirm - it doesn’t keep.
I’m secretly judgmental about...
Excuses and inaction.
The most ridiculous thing I’ve ever spent money on is...
My husband would say 90% of the things I buy are ridiculous. But the most outrageous? A juice cleanse. Actually, I’ve done two. I didn’t finish either.
On what occasion do you lie?
As a business owner, it’s my role to be the one who is in control. There are some jobs where the workload outweighs the amount of resourcing we have, and I will always put on a brave face, despite secretly freaking out inside.
I spend too much screen time on...
Unapologetically, Bravo.
A luxury I consider a necessity...
An organised, tidy home - even with a baby in it.
I’m most vain about...
My organised and tidy home. Don’t mind my general chat either!
If money were no object...
I would have a personal chef for every meal of every day, except Sunday. I like to cook if I can take my time.
People reveal themselves when…
They’re under pressure.
Words to live by?
If there’s one thing I try to practise (even when I’m tired, stressed or judging someone’s excuses), it’s this:
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view... until you climb inside their skin and walk around in it.” – Atticus Finch
Loved this issue, keep up with your witty observations, I look forward to it every week.
I’m a macro groom sort of guy I reckon